so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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