some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
