Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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