I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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