The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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