My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
