You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
