there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
