Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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