So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
