It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
