am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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