I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
