I don't usually arrange sex via text message
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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