I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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