The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
