I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
home. puking in laundry basket.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
