no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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