I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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