HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
