my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
