I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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