i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
