I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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