Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
