How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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