im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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