Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Randomize
