If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
