Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
even my farts smell like vagina
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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