I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
