Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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