im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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