like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i dont even know how to be here
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
