Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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