just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
