I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
