i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
