The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
