Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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