You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
