i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
