alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
