i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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