ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
