I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
