You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
