I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
