is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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