@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
