She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
